Toxic Togetherness…

So exams are over, I’m back at school, and I have to say that with all the focus on exams and then the two week break that followed, I forgot the emotional strain that comes with group work.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m fully capable and up for working in a team… When the team is as cooperative as I am.  Even when I’m in a bad group, I’ll see that the work is done, it will just emotionally exhaust me.

I don’t mind being in groups with varied abilities.  I mean, I rarely consider myself to be the best person in a group, I just want to work with people that are aiming for the same outcome as I am: the best work that we can produce.  I don’t even mind bossy people!  If someone wants to be bossy and take charge, providing that they’re doing a good job, I’ll passively sit back and let them (as long as I manage to get a few of my ideas in).  What I hate is negativity.  Don’t tell me you think our work will be terrible.  Don’t tell me it’s going terribly.  You think that we’re on a rapid decline?  Work with the rest of the group to fix it!

We probably all know that person (we’ve either been them or worked with them) that does nothing but moan and moan and moan during group work, and we’ve all probably wanted to kill that person (or felt the death glares received when we were that person).  I honestly don’t see the point… you think it’s bad?! It’s your group too, don’t disown it, change it.  You owe yourself that much.

It’s like an experiment I did in chemistry in year seven.  Can’t remember what we were trying to prove, but we dropped food dye into water and watched it spread throughout, darkening and ruining the clearness of the water.  During group work that one negative person effectively squirts a big old glob of food dye into the water of the group, and when you hear someone’s negativity, you can end up simultaneously feeling terrible about the work you’ve put in and doubting the foundation of the team.

Basically… negativity spreads.  And it spreads badly.  You hate your group?  Suck it up and make the best of it.  You hate the work you’ve done?  Think of a positive way to change it.  I’ve had groups I’ve loved working with and groups I haven’t liked as much, but as The Rolling Stones once emphasised, you can’t always get what you want.

I started this on group work because being back at school provoked it, but this is a lesson that can be applied to life in general.  I once read a quote (it’s actually one of my favourite quotes) saying:

“Life isn’t about waiting for the cloud to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain”

It’s basically my favourite life lesson.  Like jealousy, you can’t help negative thoughts popping into your head, but you can control the way you react to them.  Take that terrible work, or that bad day, or that bad grade and figure out how you can improve it.  It’s not always about looking for the best, sometimes it’s about finding the worst and making it better.

Read, comment, and don’t take anything personally.  Remember we’re all still forming opinions.  Byeeeee!