It has been over 6 months since I have blogged and I apologise for that but a few days after my last post I turned 18 and started my final year of school and I’m taking more subjects than I’m supposed to and I was applying to Universities and I got a part time job and everything took over. But with exams coming up I need more creative outlets and I can’t remember the last time that I wrote something for fun… So I’m back to blogging! (At least once every two weeks…)
In honour of my six month absence I’d start with:
6 things I’ve learnt over the last 6 months… (Which will probably stem into inspiration for lengthier blog posts in time)
- With age only comes wisdom if you let it
I’m finally at the age of “adulthood” and do I instantly feel mature and full of knowledge? Of course not. But I’m starting to realise that 18 isn’t a miracle cure for maturity, however one year older means I’ve had another full year to make mistakes (of which I’ve made many) and actually learn from them. And believe it or not, with this experience I have in fact become slightly more knowledgeable, this year only means more opportunities for growth.
- Just because somebody shines, doesn’t mean you don’t in a different way
I think with my last exams before Uni coming up, and the whole competing for Uni places fiasco, it’s been hard not to look at other people and think “Why can’t I do what they’re doing as well as them?”. As a perfectionist, I have a tendency to let my flaws overshadow my positive qualities, and at times, especially with the stress of this year, that has caused me to go down a bit of a spiral of fixation. However, at times I’ve realised that it’s important to step back, reflect on what you can do well, and do not compare yourself to others. Everybody has their strengths and everybody has their flaws, but we’re all still growing and developing so reward the strengths and know that your flaws can only improve.
- Confidence: Fake it til you make it
It’s no secret to anyone who knows me that I can sometimes be a bit of an introvert. I think moving around schools a lot when I was younger and constantly being pegged as “the new girl” left me with a tendency to try as hard as possible to blend into the background. However, it’s my final year of school, so I figured if there was ever a time to try anything it would be now. I’ve actually put my name forward to do things, and regularly talk to people I’ve never talked to before and though absolutely terrifying at times, everything I’ve put myself out for is ultimately rewarding. I’ve never really been one for confidence, but I’ve found that if you lie to yourself about having it long enough, you eventually believe that you actually do; confidence, like many things, can be fakes until you make it.
- A little kindness can go a long way
I’m not gonna bore you with the details, but I occasionally go through patches of intense sadness, and this year that intensity has only increased. I guess with everything that goes on around you with grades, appearance, and popularity it’s hard not to feel a little worthless sometimes. Over time I’ve realised that it’s the tiny random acts of kindness, like someone texting me when I’ve missed school, or complimenting my hair/outfit/eyebrows, or literally just smiling at me in a hallway or in the treat that make me feel a lot better. For this reason, I’ve started doing the same to others a lot more; if I think someone’s outfit is particularly nice I’ll bring it up, if I see someone make eye contact I’ll smile. If you can help someone’s mental state with an act that costs you basically no effort, why not do it all the time?
- If you believe that you’re a wallflower you’re always gonna be a wallflower
This one is one that I’m still struggling with because I have the lowest opinion of myself – don’t get me wrong I don’t think that I’m ugly or disgusting, I just see myself as a middle man who blends subtly into the background; nothing shockingly bad about me, nothing shockingly impressive. And there’s nothing wrong with being that person, but nobody should believe that they are. You are never going to have the confidence to reach further and try harder if you believe that you can. It sounds cheesy (honestly, this whole post has sounded cheesy as I’ve written it…) but there’s something special about all of us, and nobody should discredit themselves to being nothing more than a wallflower. I’m still yet to find my special thing, but I’m slowly trying to get myself to believe that it may in fact exist.
- Don’t spread yourself too thin
I briefly touched on it in the intro to this post, but I have a lot going on this year. With Unis and exams and everybody seeming to do a billion extra-curricular’s, it appears that most people have a lot going on this year. From what I’ve observed, I’m not the only one my age that is prone to freaking out over the sheer amount that I have to do. Over the last six months I’ve learnt that it is hard to stop yourself doing everything you want. I’ve had to balance homework, revision, part-time job, more subjects than I’m supposed to be doing, family time, a social life, rehearsals, extra-lessons, UCAS, planning my life next year… and many people have had to do their own version of that. I’m not going to lie, there are times when I break down and it seems impossible, and there are times when I worry that I’m not productive enough and I want to do more. I’ve learnt through insane planning (I have a Filofax and I’m really into organisation… don’t judge me…) that it’s possible to take on a lot, but you cannot spread yourself to thin, and you cannot cut out essentials. We are human beings. We need adequate sleep, and food, and time to relax with friends or TV… These can’t be cut out by things deemed “more important”, it’s not healthy.
And there you have it… Sorry if this was insanely cheesy… That was not the intention, but I guess I’m a little bit out of practice at the moment. Comment, share, message me if you actually know me and thought this was good, I’d appreciate it regardless of how often we talk :). Oh and if you think that any of these should be made into a full length detailed post, tell me, because I have no idea what I’m going to post next…
Read, comment, and don’t take anything personally. Remember, we’re all still forming opinions. Byeeeee!
Still Forming Opinions... 