When I left secondary school I was really excited about the fact that I suddenly would be able to wear my own clothes to school and leave my uniform behind. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t the worst uniform in the world (although we did have bright blue kilts…) but I was happy that I could finally wear clothes that flattered me in ways that I wanted.
In year 11 I went through a stage of drastically losing weight… I mean I was never size zero skinny, but I wasn’t exactly the epitome of health. It wasn’t because I exercised loads or was incredibly fit or anything, I simply stopped eating as well as I should have because I became so wrapped up in the fact that it is very easy to compare people’s sizes when you are all wearing the same thing. As I began sixth form this became less of a problem however as I started to feel a lot more comfortable I started to realise that the allowance of makeup meant that the majority of girls looked beautifully air brushed all the time.
I’ve always been kind of blessed with relatively good skin; I think it’s due to the fact I don’t particularly like sweets and I drink a lot of water. So with the right exfoliator, cleanser and moisturiser plus the occasional face mask, my face remained relatively clear and lip gloss and eyeliner were the extent of my morning makeup routine. However, the more I looked at girls at school the more I realised how amazingly pretty they all looked in makeup. Clear skin was no longer enough… I needed to have no bags under my eyes, the perfect smooth complexion, an even tone throughout my skin, natural but slightly coloured eyelids, matte but evenly coloured lips… the list went on and on. I slowly invested in more and more makeup (I mean… I still rarely wear it, but at least I own it), and I became more obsessed with the flaws on my face, some of which I couldn’t help. My nose felt flatter, my cheeks seemed too red, my forehead too big, my overall face shape too fat and I couldn’t help but hate my absence of cheek bones.
Recently on two separate occasions I’ve had to wear the same dress as many other girls and in both cases I couldn’t help but being consumed in how much more I resembled a potato in comparison to everyone else. It was like all my uniform fears came back and I noticed everything about me that I hated; the size of my thighs and my wideness. It’s affected me a lot recently but it’s caused me to really think about how we as a society define “beauty”.
Recently I’ve been binge watching a lot of TV series’ (revision procrastination at its finest). At the moment I’m watching the OC, before that it was 90210 and before that it was Gossip Girl and each time I haven’t been able to help the fact that I look at the girls and these shows and aspire to have their thin bodies. Every single one of them looks perfect in everything they wear (which I understand they have costume designers for… but their bodies probably help) and I can’t help but have it bum me out a little. However, then when I occasionally watch old kids shows like That’s So Raven and Lizzie McGuire, it’s refreshing to look at how the girls aren’t necessarily “plus size” but are average and slightly curly, and they’re not addressed as “big girls” or “curvy girls” but viewed normally. Through watching TV shows from different years you can actually see how body image has changed over time; we went from a stage where the weight of actors wasn’t necessarily important, to a phase of stick thinness being the norm, to now where we have the celebrated “plus sized girls” and then the slim toned beautiful girls, and I find it interesting how in each of these time periods, these girls were the trendsetters, and the beauty that teens in particular aspired to.
We’re in a time at the moment that’s a lot more tolerant and accepting towards everything, and we’re often preached at by friends, teachers, adverts and parents that “everyone is beautiful and beauty is subjective”, however there are people that the majority tend to agree are just a lot prettier than others, so what is it that allows us to view them as that much more beautiful? As someone’s that frequently struggles with liking their appearance I personally try not to judge others and I try to never negatively judge anyone’s appearance… I feel like in general this happens a lot less nowadays. However, when celebrating the beauty of others I find myself wishing I could be that pretty and this can often be self-deprecating.
I didn’t want this post to end up being an “everyone is beautiful, you should love yourself” kind of post because from someone who has little to no self-confidence I find that this is easier said than done. I just think that we need to stop comparing ourselves to others. You may find many of their qualities redeeming, but hey, you probably have many redeeming qualities as well.
One of my favourite quotes (I have quite a few, I’m sorry I feel like I talk about quotes that I love a lot), comes from ‘The Red Band Society’, a TV show that got cancelled way before it’s time:
“Luck isn’t getting what you want. It’s about surviving what you don’t want”
I feel like in this day and age, most people have something that they dislike about themselves, but sometimes try as you may you can’t change it. Embrace your “flaws”, work with them, and make them your special features. It’s not about being the best looking, it’s about having the confidence in yourself to know you look good. Because usually if you can believe it, others start to believe it too.
Read, comment, and don’t take anything personally. Remember, we’re all still forming opinions. Byeeeee!
Still Forming Opinions... 