Constantly Changing…

  
So I’m writing this from a train (which is pretty cool because I’m listening to music and typing away as the locations outside my window change quickly and I feel like a writer in a movie) on my way to Durham.  I don’t know if it’s my current location, or the fact that I’m about to spend a week from home in somewhere I’ve never been before with no family, friends, or anyone I know at all, but something really got me thinking about change.

If you had to describe yourself in 3 words what would they be? 

Would you have to think about it? Go on some long journey of self discovery?  Or would you just know? Theoretically we should all know exactly who we are, considering that, you know, we’re ourselves, but in life it’s never that easy. 

When I was younger, I used to really love first days of school. Not because I was a geek (which, I’ll be honest I kind of was but that’s beside the point), I used to love them because each new year felt like a fresh start. I’d be in a new year at school, have different teachers, different books, different folders, a different timetable, I used to feel like with all that change I had the chance to be as different as I wanted to be.  However, now, when I look back and think about it I wonder why I needed a new year to feel like I could be whoever I wanted. 

It’s a common notion; I mean, with every New Year’s Eve comes the trending #newyearnewme hashtag… We seem to mark the times of the year where it’s acceptable for us to change and be who we want to be.  But, when you think about it, we control ourselves.  We should be able to be who we want to be whenever we want to.  So yeah, this week away gives me a fresh start with new people, but that doesn’t mean that it’s a chance for me to radically change who I am.  If I want change, I should be able to whenever I want.  

If you’ve ever seen a Romantic Comedy, the odds are that you’ve seen a female protagonist panic and struggle because she doesn’t know who she is, or what her label in high school is.  I’m not gonna lie, I love watching RomComs, I could watch them all day, but I would be lying if I said that they didn’t have their flaws in terms of the messages that they give.  It’s okay to not know exactly who you are or where you belong.  If I had to describe myself in three words I don’t think I’d be able to without some serious thought.  I have no idea what clique I’d belong to in a teenage high school movie, to be honest I don’t think I’d be able to label myself with a stereotypical role in any of those movies either.  Why? Because we’re always changing, whether it be physically or emotionally. 
Aquinas (an old Philospher) argued in his First Way that we are in a constant state of motion, moving from a state of actuality, to potentiality, to actuality etc.  It sounds more complicated than it is, but it’s easy to wrap your head around if you think of an example, like a saucepan.  When you heat a saucepan, it goes from being potentially hot, to actually being hot, to being potentially cold, to being actually cold.  At the moment we’re all who we are, but we have the potential to be a different version of ourselves, if we want to be because we’re constantly changing.

In my room I have a cork board by my desk where I pin photos, reminders and cute postcards and things I like. My favourite thing on my corkboard at the moment is a postcard that I found when I was out shopping in Lomdon with my friends one time.  It says: Some want it to happen, others wish it would happen, and some go out and make it happen.  Whatever we do, we should always strive to be those who go out and make things happen.  At the end of the day, if you want better for yourself, or you want to be known/noticed for something, you’re the only one that can make it happen.  Regardless of the time of year, or your circumstances, there’s always time for change.

Read, comment, and don’t take anything personally. Remember, we’re all still forming opinions. Byeeeee!

Re-Evaluating Results…

It’s been a long time since I posted, I know, but honestly I’ve been waiting for the inspiration I needed to write my next post.  But today was results day for all AS and A2 students, so I figured it was as good a time as ever to blog about life and experiences.

As a teenage girl with a variety of social media outlets (Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, you name it), I read teenage rants on the education system pretty much every time I go online.  The reason?  It’s probably the number one shared cause of stress amongst teenagers my age.  We have rants, one liners, and recurring jokes on the topic, but all mediums generally come down to the same point:  the education system has got us more concerned about the letters that we get on a piece of paper than whether we actually learn something.

Today was emotional and hectic and nerve wrecking and I witnessed a lot of reactions to results, ranging from one end of the spectrum to the other, and it really got me thinking about the point above.  I’m not saying that the letters don’t matter, because they do; universities and jobs have to find some way of filtering applicants, but it seems that nowadays as students our grades begin to become the thing that defines us.

For example, I remember last year when I got my GCSE Results (It was a way bigger deal than this year’s results because it was my first proper results day and I swear I shook the whole way to school).  The second I ripped open the envelope, before I even properly registered my results I was on the phone to my parents listing my A*s, As and Bs.  Then before I knew it, I was texting family members listing my A*s, As and Bs.  Then as I walked down the corridors out of school I can’t tell you how many times I recited my A*s, As and Bs to everybody that asked me what I got.  By the time I left school that day, before I could even properly sit down and look at my grade breakdown, I could recite the number of A*s, As and Bs I got by heart.  By the time I started sixth form, it felt like reciting my grades became as common as reciting my name.  Without intending for them to, my grades had become one of my largest defining factors, and one of the first things I’d be asked about whenever I met someone new.

Like I said earlier, I’m not saying that grades don’t matter.  Of course they matter.  But, whether we do badly or we do well we shouldn’t let them be the things that define us.  Don’t get me wrong, you shouldn’t use that as an incentive to give up and not try at all.  Grades may not be what define you, but the amount that you try for them does.  What I’m saying is that if you opened that envelope today (or any other day) and your heart sank a little, don’t let those letters ruin your morale.

If you aren’t happy with your AS results, the beauty of AS levels is how accessible the retakes are.  If you want better, go out and get those better grades for yourself next year.  And if you try again and do better, be proud!  However, regardless of what you get, always remember that there is more to every single one of us than a few letters on a piece of paper. 

Read, comment, and don’t take anything personally.  Remember, we’re all still forming opinions.  Byeeeee!