Sayonara School…

A couple of days ago I was checking my site statistics, and before I officially start my blog post I just wanted to say thank you to all my international readers (and my UK readers as well)!  I’m viewed in 10 countries at the moment and that’s incredibly cool so salamat, grazie, merci, danke, gracias, and thank you, I hope I continue making posts that interest you a little regardless of what country you’re in.

For me, it’s that time of year again… some of us are already back and school and some of us (like me), are desperately clinging to the last few days of freedom before we dive back into school work and revision for exams.  The back to school season has commenced and summer is slowly becoming a distant memory.

Usually, by the end of the summer I can’t wait to go back to school.  It’s not because I particularly want to go to lessons and wake up at 6am and have homework… but rather due to the fact by this point I’m generally bored of summer and want to get back to doing something.  However this year, I kind of don’t want to go back.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not because I hate school of anything, but it’s recently occurred to me that I’m going into my final year of school ever.  I mean yeah, I plan to go to Uni, but Uni and school aren’t exactly the same thing, and they don’t have the same feel at all, so this is my last first day of school ever again…  And that absolutely terrifies me.

A couple weeks ago, I watched the entirety of One Tree Hill from beginning to end (as you do) and the final episode really stuck with me.  Obviously, part of that was because it was the final episode, but a lot of it was due to what Nathan said at the beginning of the episode.

“It’s the oldest story in the world, one day you’re 17 planning for someday, and then quietly, and without you ever really noticing, someday is today and then someday is yesterday and this is your life.”

I like change (from time to time…), and I like new things, but one thing I don’t like is saying goodbye.  And in retrospect, this year is gonna be nothing but a year of goodbyes.  Goodbye to the unnecessarily long first day assembly, goodbye to the “what did you do all summer” conversations… With every day that goes by, there’s one less day of being a schoolchild, and we’re all one day closer to being classed as an adult.

In my lifetime I’ve been to a total of 5 schools, which is a lot more than I should have been to at my age, however it means that technically I should be used to the whole goodbye thing by now.  However this one is a lot different.  Prior to this year, whenever I’ve left a school, I’ve known that eventually I’m gonna end up in another school; It will be different, but at least it will be a school.  However this time next year, we’ll all be preparing to go to different places.  The people that I’m the closest to at the moment, the people that I’m used to spending at least five days a week with, will be scattered across the country… hours away from me.  This is the last year of teachers caring about whether I show up to my lessons or not, caring about when I hand in my homework.  This is the last year where all the responsibility isn’t piled on my shoulders.

So, (at the risk of sounding incredibly cliché), if like me you’re going into your final year of school, remember that your days as a schoolchild are numbered.  School may not be the most entertaining thing in our lives, but it’s where we’ve grown up, made some of our best friends, and learnt a lot more than academic stuff.  School is responsible for a lot of the things that make us who we are.  School shaped us.  And soon we have to say goodbye to it.

Read, comment, and don’t take anything personally.  Remember, we’re all still forming opinions.  Byeeeee!

Accelerated Ageing…

Growing up has always been one of those things I wanted to do.  5 year old me couldn’t wait to be 10, 10 year old me couldn’t wait to be 16, and 16 year old me couldn’t wait to be 18.  And yet, now I’m 2 weeks away from being an adult I wish I could cling on to my childhood and my life of no responsibility and a billion second chances.  But as much as I wish it, I can’t.  We’re all growing up, maturing whether we can feel it or not. 

I’ve just come back from a week at a summer school, pretending to go to University for a week.  It was great; I made amazing friends, actually improved my French skills and confidence immensely, even explored activities I wouldn’t usually explore.  But I’d be lying if I said that the whole experience didn’t terrify me a little… (Or a lot…)

You see, at the end of the week we had this “mini graduation” ceremony.  It was amazingly cute; we got gowns, scrolls, a ceremony, the whole shebang… and I couldn’t help but feel extremely old.  I mean, yeah, I was only playing a Uni student for a few moments, but at one point I looked at the people around me, and the hall I was in and the scroll I was clutching and I remembered where I was this time a year ago.

I feel exactly the same, but it’s not until I look at what I’ve done in the last school year that I realise how much I’ve actually changed.  I went away from home, four hours away from home, by myself to a summer school where I knew absolutely no one.  I had no friends by my side, no family, and a year ago that would have absolutely terrified me.  This time last year no way would I have written a blog!  This time last year I wouldn’t have let my closest friends read anything that I’d written at all.  Last summer I vowed to do so much, but the odds are this time last year I was lounging on a sofa, thinking about what the next year would bring and binging on Netflix.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve still watched a ridiculous amount of Netflix this summer.  However, I’ve also gone out and done work experience, written an academic essay, hung out with my friends, done 2 summer schools and applied for and started a part-time job.  It only began occurring to me when I looked at that scroll in my hand, that without even trying to I’ve grown older and I’ve matured.  I don’t feel very different at all, and I think often as teenagers we discredit ourselves and believe that we haven’t made any progress at all.  I’m pretty sure, regardless of your age, if any of you look back and what you’d done a year ago and what you’ve done now, you’ll realise that you’ve done a lot more than you give yourself credit for.

Even if it’s nothing physical, look at the person you were a year ago compared to the person you are now.  Are you more confident?  More reserved?  More self-assured?  More mature?  I guarantee you there will be something.

We should be proud of the people that we’ve become, but we should never forget the people that we’ve come from.  As sung in one of my favourite musicals: “There’s pride in my heart because I know where I’m going, but I know where I’ve been”.  Never forget the spirit you had as a 10 year old, or that ridiculous confidence you had when you were 5.  Hold on to it all.  Use it to grow.  Let it help mould you.

Yeah, we’re ageing.  But that doesn’t mean we still can’t be kids from time to time.   

Read, comment, and don’t take anything personally.  Remember, we’re all still forming opinions.  Byeeeee!